Marriage Is Not An Occult (Women’s Edition) By Abigail Mavis Xatse

By: Abigail Mavis Xatse Date: 21st April, 2026

My dear ladies and women,

Gone were the days where women have their own trade and businesses, where they can operate at their own time. If I have my own shop, I can open it or close it on days I may have a piled work to attend too at home. But in this day and age, were almost 50% or more of us are also gainfully employed in someone’s company or institution, where you can’t choose the time to report and the time to close. Therefore, there is a formal demand on our time as well but the physical tasks of the home also still awaits you and you can’t use the workplace duties to excuse yourself from performing the home tasks. We got to be stronger and devise ways to go round it.

I am always against the extremities of our behaviors. We should be taken care of but we are not “exclusively entitled” to some of the demands we make. We are to help the man build not to break him down. True to reality, we do most of the physically work at home most and are often at the mercy of tiredness than our husbands but consider this scenario. Upon all the tiredness, when our kids are sick we will still wake up in the night to attend to them. I remember situations where I will be sick as well but I have to throw mine over the bar and see to the child’s needs. So, always denying your husband his conjugal right over a long period as it becomes obvious you have predetermined that attitude and it is not tiredness per se, then we have an issue to deal with here.

When our kids say they are hungry we don’t beat them up and say why are you saying you are hungry. We are made to understand that our husbands’ conjugal right is a necessity to their living, it is a natural hunger for them like our children been hungry and as much as sometimes we don’t have food but find a way to provide for the kids, we have to find a way to sort our husbands out amidst the tiredness.

Per my own definition of irresponsibility or an irresponsible partner is that, a case where one is capable of helping the other partner both physically, financially or in any regard without anything hindering him or her and obviously refused to help that person or partner can be described as irresponsible partner. So if by any chance your husband could have assisted you and you can see he just obviously refused to provide the help, just maintain your dignity and keep still. The person is adamant in doing it and no amount of shouting will cause them to do it. You will rather stress yourself and have heartache. Just find your way around, do what you can and if the rest left undone won’t kill someone then leave it there like that. We too we are somebody’s child. If you ask more than twice and can see the person obviously refused to help in that case the person is capable of helping but refused, please keep still and do what your capacity can do. Please same applies to us we shouldn’t refuse to help them when we can obviously offer help.

In all these, I am against the extremities where some women are over demanding than their husband’s capacity, denying the men their rights or even financial support or any other over month because of a small offense or misunderstanding etcetera. The other man who is saying he can take better care of you and he will leave his wife for you, please draw the statistics and see where most of those relationships ended.

We are also much aware of our responsibilities as women before marrying; it wasn’t imposed on us in the marriage. Seeing our mothers do most of them when we were young painted a clear picture of what is expected of us before marriage. It wasn’t anything new been introduced to us. Let us be on guard. Marriage can be more beautiful than we have these days.